Impostor Syndrome Never Gets Old
When I first started my new job, straight out of college, I was convinced that I was not qualified for any job that life could through at me.
My first job offer was from NSA for a development program with a 3 year rotation in Project Manager. I hesitantly accepted the 5-year assignment in April 2018 for the low-ball price of <$50,000 a year. Despite the financial disappointment, I was very excited to be a part of a program because I would not have to face my impostor syndrome.
In August of 2018 my job was rescinded and i was left with many tears, questions and yes, you guessed it: Imposture Syndrome anxiety at its max! So what did I do? I chose to run a behavioral management pet business instead of facing reality and applying for a new job within my major. Fortunately I believe everything happens for a reason. I chose to attend the Grace Hopper Conference that year though I had no real intentions of finding a job.
Mid September I attended Grace Hopper which, for lack of a better descriptor, was the most invigorating and important conference I have ever attended. There I found companies I had never heard of before. Among those companies was Accenture. I remember talking to the recruiters and, for the first time since college, getting excited for a job interview. One of the recruiters that stood out to me was a warm and friendly software engineer named Zoe. Zoe would prove to be a very important mentor moving forward.
My major was in Information Science which was a unique combination of psychology, information and coding. Some of my favorite classes in college were about the statistics behind decision making and user-centered design. My minor was in technology entrepreneurship and so i learned a lot of business concepts and client management skills. What better mix of skills for consulting? An industry I had never
considered entering.
In October I accepted a job offer from Accenture Federal Services and chose to push my start date back to January 2019 to push off the "real world" as long as possible. I remember getting my first client assignment and I was terrified that I would not be qualified for the job at hand. I had not coded back-end since my junior year of high school and I did not have a ton of faith in my coding abilities.
On January 15th I reported to the client site full of anxiety and fear. I remember the sinking pit I had in my stomach as I met all the members of the team. All i could think was how senior and qualified they must be to be in the position. What would happen when they found out I was an imposter? As I shook all the hands of my new coworkers I remember my mind was racing. My last coworker came up to introduce herself and low and behold! That warm and friendly face was staring back at me again. Zoe! What a blessing.
My next few months with Accenture were hard but it was very rewarding. Within 5 months I had learned more than I had learned my entire 4 years of college. I knew this was going to be a challenging but promising career path for me. And that Impostor Syndrome? It never truly goes away! But it fades at times. It comes and goes now like waves. And when I feel like I am less than qualified, I just put in the extra work to get there.